Twenty four into twenty five


I must say that my twenty four was a roller coaster. Changes happened in a fast speed. Sometimes I was at the peak and in a moment I was at the bottom. The changes were confusing, whirling around my head. They were startling, afraid of judgments and making me stay awake as the world became dark and silent, yet I had to learn to make decisions. To let things go or to embrace, to be selfish or to please others, to expect or to face things. But it took me by surprise that I was able to have the guts to check what was left behind, about the red flanel rose, though in fact I was waiting for nil.

It took me by surprise too that a picture came in the midst of my talk with Allah when I was at the peak of my confusion about whether to say yes or no and when I was down on my knees. In this chaotic mind, my curiosity did play a great trick. To finally ask such low questions to whom I put my dignity highly, I didn’t mind. To follow the feeds and to wait till twenty five came, I think I am done.

The day I turned into twenty five, I was happy to know that I had been through these. Knowing that a quarter of life might seem daunting, as many articles say, yet as long as I put everything to Allah, believe Allah in every step I take, and make decisions with the guidance of Allah, I don’t think I will be pretty much dazed. Twenty four has taught me that I had to be a healthy tree. I need to nourish my own self with worthy fertilizer so that my roots can reach the core, I have to water my own self so that my trunk can strongly stand without worrying the wind. I need to get my leaves shined so that I can produce clement air for others to breathe.

I want to be firm, strong, and fruitful.
I want to be beautiful.

My twenty four was a roller coaster, but I enjoyed its ride. My wish is that if you happen to be or on going process of becoming twenty four, may you can find your own path and follow what’s your heart leads you up to. May you can make wiser decision and not to postpone what you should do in the precise time. Lastly, may you find what makes you happy. Cheers!


How we talk

One of the things I am always grateful for is that Allah has guided me into the path I am choosing now, learning and teaching English, a subject that used to be my nightmares during high school. As I have learnt this language, I feel like I can broaden my horizon and being capable of understanding new things, Nouman Ali Khan speech too is one of the light.

One of the striking khutbahs spoken by him is about how people should control their talk in their daily life. It might look nothing special about it, or maybe people think nothing is wrong in the words uttered (as sarcasm has been becoming a trend nowadays). Yet, through this episode, he has reminded me that such unconscous words with such tones, word choices, and discourses can probably hurt or somehow belittle my interlocutors if I don’t carefully think about their feelings or the situations they are in.

Another part of this episode that has made me fall in lies in the opening. The talk about that the Quran in our life is not only for information but something to ponder, to hold on, to be the core source of life’s needs and guidance has really enlighten me. Have I really read it or have I related it into my life? Have the words of Allah knocked my heart and led my path closer to Allah? How far has Quran been in me? I begin to ponder.

“Quran is not just information. The Quran is actually something that is supposed to plant itself inside our heart. So, its lessons and its teachings just like a plant that has to seed, has to go in the soil, then it needs water, it needs sun, it needs nourishment to be able to grow. The soil needs to be right for it to take life. So, it’s not just information you and I hear, or you and I read, and we move along. We have to take time to ponder it, internelize it, and really think about how it is going to take root in our heart and how it is going to change our thinking, our emotion, our behavior even.”
— Nouman Ali Khan

These series of episode are basically from the Surah Al Ahzab ayah 69 -71 and they mainly discussed about the human talk. With clear and contextual examples given in the episode also make them easily understood. I highly recommend his khutbahs and his channel as well for the depth of Quran. May Allah SWT always bless him and his dakwah. Amin.

“O you who have believed, be not like those who abused Moses; then Allah cleared him of what they said. And he, in the sight of Allah, was distinguished. O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.He will [then] amend for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment.”

Surah Al Ahzab Ayah 69-71

The Meeting


Blowing wind in the midst of my solitude

alludes to one title that never have I met

Such a sinful soul needs assurances

upon the worthiness of me before Him

“Know Him by His names, O you who believe..

if you hope to meet Him when the time comes” prophet said.


This poem is basically my thought to the last surah of surah Al Kahf though I also have another intention in writing it. At the last surah it is stated that if those believers want to meet Allah afterlife, they have to prostate to Allah only, do not relate in the worship of Allah anyone, and keep doing righteous deeds.

قُلْ إِنَّمَا أَنَا بَشَرٌ مِثْلُكُمْ يُوحَىٰ إِلَيَّ أَنَّمَا إِلَٰهُكُمْ إِلَٰهٌ وَاحِدٌ ۖ فَمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو لِقَاءَ رَبِّهِ فَلْيَعْمَلْ عَمَلًا صَالِحًا وَلَا يُشْرِكْ بِعِبَادَةِ رَبِّهِ أَحَدًا

Say, “I am only a man like you, to whom has been revealed that your god is one God. So whoever would hope for the meeting with his Lord – let him do righteous work and not associate in the worship of his Lord anyone.”

Al Kahf – 110